Ice Cream Sandwich

Ben: Hey Dad, do you want this Ice Cream sandwich? Me: I think so Ben: TROLLED YOU! It’s Play-do!


Ben: There are many paths, but there is not only one right path. Me: What??? Ben: I just made that up. You should put it on a T-shirt.

Pterodactyl Sounds

Ben: Mom! I can make a sound like a pterodactyl! (makes what is presumably a pterodactyl sound) Mom: That’s Great! Me: Wait a sec, there haven’t been any pterodactyls for 65 million years. How do you know what it sounds like? Ben: It was on the TV!

Tom Cruise

Ben: Why did you play that music? It’s not what I was listening to. Me: It’s very famous dancing music. Ben: Nope. I don’t like it…

Friday Logic

Ben: Dad, I don’t understand something. Me: Okay. What is it? Ben: You know how on Friday there is no homework? Me: Yes. Ben: If there is no homework, then we shouldn’t have to go to school on Friday.

He’s Not Wrong…

Spring Break has come to an end and we are on our way to school… Ben: I love apples! Me: I put one in your lunch today. It’s a Golden Enchanted Apple. I enchanted it myself! Ben: Dad, you can’t enchant an apple. Dad: Why not? Ben: Because you don’t have a crafting table and…


Ben: Dad, do you know what’s really dangerous? Me: No… what is really dangerous? Ben: Saws. Me: Yep. Saws can be really dangerous. Daddy has three saws! Ben: And wars.

Dr. Evil

Ben was just yelling at the XBox One for a few minutes. I asked him what the heck was wrong and he came into the kitchen to tell me that: Ben: Some guy named “The Creator” shut down my favorite game on Rōblox. So I am going to hack his account and take it away…

At Least He Knows…

Ben: I WANT A DONUT RIGHT NOW! Cami: Ben, stop being such a jerk, I don’t like it when you act that way. Ben: I know. I don’t like it either, but I still do it…

Not Carrots

Ben looks into my small bag of carrots… Me: You want a carrot? Ben: No. I thought they were Cheetos.